Dreaming.In.Reality

kinda stingy, but nothing too bad. Just one more reason to not enjoy myself at work.

I find that I lack motivation for a lot of things in my life. My photography (and everything that goes with it: website, portfolio, sales, learning etc), setting up something that would potentionally earn some extra money with very little effort etc. I complain about my job, quite frankly I’m almost to the point where I hate it and dread going in every day. I don’t need a lot a $ per month, just enough to cover Flame and my basic expenses for the month including non used gym membership and Gymboree classes etc. I worked it out that I would only need about 5 photo appointments per month to be able to stay at home with Lucien full time. That combined with my little effort extra cash project would be more than enough.. but with no motivation and a unhealthy dose of “I’m Lazy” thrown in, nothing seems to get done.

I’m sitting here moving some files around, I almost recently lost some data on my second drive and now it’s all dumped in a temp directory on our server. So it’s a freaking mess, trying to make heads or tails of it. Some other mom just made a post in our mommy directory of the group I belong to advertising her business and i’m like fuck, i need to do something about that. But it just feels so overwhelming. Since switching to word press I haven’t really mucked about in any kind of web design as I find wordpress skins so complicated. I can’t seem to wrap my brain around it, it’s seriously a foreign language to me, why I have no idea, but it is. I’m in the works of making Amanda a new layout it’s about 50% done and it’s breaking my brain a bit as I have quite a bit to remember. I feel like I’m having a giant DURR moment as I feel as if I’ve forgotten so much of what I learned while I was working at home. Anyhoos, directories are done copying.. back to file sorting.