Dreaming.In.Reality

but I don’t. Things have been rapidly developing, dissolving and whirling around me for the past few weeks. I have a lot to blog about, but it always seems to come down to it in the end where I’m just not feeling up to getting it all out there. I keep trying at this entry though, sooner or later it’ll happen.

I’m entering the last part of my pregnancy. Time has gone by so quickly, I don’t even know where to begin with the wonder at how it seems to have just passed me by. 27 weeks and I’m beginning to think I should have stopped to smell the roses more. I’m only 13 official weeks out from having this baby and I feel so much is unfinished, so much was missed. My second trimester has gone by in a flash, it was supposed to be the most enjoyable part of my pregnancy and I cannot even remember most of it. Maybe it’s because even still it hasn’t really sunk in that in just a few short months, I will be a Mommy. I’m sure when I go into labour this panic will set in and I’ll know for certain that I’m not ready for this. I feel the baby move all day now, you can see thumps and bumps from the outside. He moves most when I’m trying to sleep.

As far as things coming along, I should be on the ball more with getting things together. I haven’t made baby shower plans (jump out of my ass please, I have 0 reliable friends in Michigan to do this, which is entirely another blog), I need to be making some sort of “immediate needs” list for what I’ll need at least in the first month just in case something isn’t covered by my rabid family/friends and their obsessive need for a baby shower that none of them are capable of helping me with. The nursery has just about everything it needs to go in it aside from the nerdy stuff Kev wants to do. There is supposedly a mural to be painted, and a soundscape system to be installed and some new lighting. I’ve been in there cleaning up, making room for the boxes of furniture that are supposed to be delivered today, but only some of it is. I get to call tomorrow for seeing if the crib is in. Saved again by late delivery, as there is still a wee bit to pick up and sort. I also want to look into some sort of bookshelf for baby books. We don’t have a lot obviously -lol- But I’m sure as time goes on that we’ll be collecting many.

As far as health goes, most of you know already, but I spent last weekend at the hospital. They admitted me into the mat ward because of a suspected kidney infection combined with high fever. 4 days later, several rounds of antibiotics, my fever finally broke, however the doctors were left confused as I had no signs ever during the course of treatement of bacteria or other infectious anythings in my urine and blood samples. So I got the “you must have had a virus” line. I really hate that. It’s twice I’ve heard it in potentially life altering situations this year. However, here I am, bruised from being stabbed with blood collection needles and iv needles, and healthy. The baby is just fine as well. Everyone at the hospital was very impressed with how active this little guy is.

Icing on the cake was being told Monday by Kev a letter had arrived from my boss. She’s “restructuring” her company. I personally think there is no money left, and she’s let everyone go but 2 people to do what bit of work there is as well as keep things afloat. Long story short, I am now unemployed at nearly 6.5 months pregnant with no hopes of getting a job at home, nor outside of the home. I’ve got a few plans up my sleeves for some things that could prove lucrative, however I probably won’t see any gain on that till the fall. We shall see.

Sprinkles on the cake, would be Tuesday getting a call from my dr office, in what I thought was goign to be for a followup about the hospital, but no. Turns out I have failed my 1 hour glucose test. There are many factors playing into why I think I failed it, but none of them actually being gestational diabetes markers. One would be being told I could eat before the test and me eating lunch about an hour and a half before the blood draw, and second my “virus” could have also played a part in it. I am signed up for special classes on diabetic eating starting next week but I also decided to ask to take the test again. I did that this morning, so here’s hoping for a better result by Tuesday.

Other than that, there really isn’t much going on. I’ve spent the week combatting fustration and depression over the events that were week 26. I’m feeling better now, but not 100%. I need to pick some things to do every day a tiny bit at a time. I’m having serious motivation problems and what seems to be the end results of all that is going on is getting overwhelming, so I think chipping away at it little by little is something I need to start doing again. I’ve never been a huge large scale plan maker, I’ve found that usually that shit blows up in your face, so do the little stuff and usually the bigger stuff falls into place. How odd that me of all people have forgotten how to do that in the past few months. So here I sit reexamining how things should go and how to do them. It makes me feel a bit more structured, a little more secure, but not much.

Steady as she goes…