A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, “I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.”She answers, ‘My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.” She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be single and #2 you must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I am single and I’m Catholic too!” The nun says “OK, pull into the next alley.” He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
“My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?” “Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.” The nun says, “That’s OK, my name is Joe and I’m on my way to a Halloween party.”
TOP TEN REASONS WHY TRICK OR TREATING IS BETTER THAN SEX
10.You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
9. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again.
8. The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
7. You don’t have to compliment the person who gives you some.
6. It’s O.K. when the person you’re with fantasizes you’re someone else, because you are.
5. Forty years from now you’ll still enjoy candy.
4. If you don’t like what you get, you can always go next door.
3. It doesn’t matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning.
2. Less guilt the morning after.
1. YOU CAN DO THE WHOLE NEIGHBORHOOD.
Halloween Things That Sound Dirty but Aren’t
1. So…What did you get in the sack?
2. Once you get under the sheet, start moaning and groaning!
3. Just hop on that broomstick and ride it!
4. Those small suckers are gone in a few licks.
5. You scared me stiff!
6. Quit screwing around on the porch!
7. Stick your hand in and guess what you’re feeling.
8. Can I eat your Zagnuts?
9. They’ll suck you dry if they get their teeth in you.
10. I bobbed but couldn’t get my mouth around it.
11. She’s a goblin!
12. I’d like to get a little something in the sack tonight.
13. He’s got Candy spread out on the living room floor!
14. She’s got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch
15. If you just lick it, it’ll last longer.
16. Let me see your big sack!
17. It was so filled and heavy, I had to use two hands.
18. Have your mom check it before you put it in your mouth.
19. I got the best piece from that house.
20. Just get on your hands and knees and bob your head.
0 Responses to “Halloween Humor”
Leave a Reply