Dreaming.In.Reality

So, while working on my new gallery, er I should say this ONE picture of the gallery for the past several hours I’ve been ripping some of my classical CDS. I guess I want some of the songs that I played in University and in high school. I really miss playing.. and I’ve just been wanting to listen to pure piano lately.. and with a LOT of classical music that’s hard to find. Sure the piano is there.. but you have that pesky orchestra playing as well.. Well, I’ve ripped 2 Chopin CDS, and one Schubert CD.. only 3 out of 6 songs I want.. was on those 3 discs.. Where the other cds that have the rest of them are.. I do not know-sighs- and I can’t even remember the songs off the top of my head.. I could flip through my music books.. and pick them out by the badly abused dog eared, pencil marked pages.. but.. my music books are packed away at the parents house. -sighs- Hopefully whenever the time comes that K & I are in a bigger place of our own.. that I can get a piano in there.. either the one at his mom’s house… or even my poor girl back home.. Though I fear she wouldn’t survive the trip here.. she’s quite advanced in her years.

I just miss feeling the keys under my fingertips.. and slipping into that place where I could completely relax.. and just be in my own world, perfecting my skills..

I was also just thinking of something that I’ve thought of before.. being in relationships of any kind.. be it lover, close friends, family.. Everyone has their hobby skill talent.. whatever.. And when it comes to those things, you always want to be top dog.. you don’t want anyone to steal your thunder.. In previous relationships.. my hobbies were always my own.. no one shared them.. I may have had [b]friends[/b] partcipate in the same hobbies, but we were always on different levels, or had different expectations with them. I can honestly say up until my marriage.. I never have felt competitive in my hobbies.. and I don’t like feeling that way.. because it makes me feel resentful.. especially when my own talent in the hobbies is either diminished in the public eye, or completely overlooked… I know some of you are gonna jump and say K shouldn’t make you feel that way.. and it’s not K.. but rather those around us.. that I have been introduced to since the wedding. I am the type of person person that I get quite defensive about myself.. and most often than not will just remove myself from a situation.. ie a moment where I am doing a hobby because I don’t want to be resentful of or towards a person.. but yet, when I do that.. I am angered because I have quite nicely let myself be chased from something I enjoy.