Dreaming.In.Reality

I realized something.. as I went outside these eve to get a bit of fresh air.. I really miss the “solitary” feeling of the first snow. At my parents house, even though the area around them is building up, and you can still hear road noises.. When you take that first step off the backstep, down into the backyard.. inhaling the crisp cold air… the stillness and quiet.. surrounds you.. as a few small snowflakes still fall from the sky.. you just feel like you are out in the middle of nowhere.. Not so much here.. building noises, 2 main roads closeby noises, parking garage noises, people entering the building.. there was just not enough silence.. to get that moment of feeling at peace and being alone……

Again.. I’ve had a friend.. pull the expectance of “i hate this person, so you should too” on me. I am tired of this, I am my own person, I choose who I am friendly to, who I am not friendly to, who I choose to have as friends, and who I choose to not have as friends. I would not expect any of my friends to hate someone, or be cruel to them.. just on the basis of my own feelings towards that person. Foolishly though, I think my friends would be the same, and not expect me to hate or be cruel to someone they had ill feelings towards. Obviously today I was wrong. I AM expected to hate someone, who though has made choices and performed actions I don’t approve of or like, I have no personal basis to hate/be cruel to them. I AM expected to ignore them, be cruel when necessary.. that is not an expectation one can consider in a friendship. I’m sorry, but I will not do that. If you have problems with that, then so be it…I will not change who I am, to be a more negative person.. I have enough of that in me already, and I’ve had enough of it around me.